the fundamentally inadequate.

O girl! O stranger!
What did I ever do to you?
There was a fire
in you and I drowned.
I was drawn
to you akin to a moth
to a flame; powerless.
Akin to a homesick sailor
lost at sea, stranded and
like you were the shipwreck
that could set me free; so
I giftwrapped this power,
for you, to trample
my heart, trusting
you won’t but you!
You were blind
to my vulnerability
deaf, to the way
I look at you
numb, to how
I crave to kiss you.
You made me,
all this time,
feel empty
and now I do
know it was true,
all along too,
that I don’t matter to you.
Not         one        bit.
I did know and all that
knowledge? Fucking useless.
Knowledge, as I’ve learned,
is an overrated power;
if a power at all.
You make me feel small
like I was never enough
like I never existed and
today, if I was wiped off
your life, it wouldn’t
make a difference.
You make me feel
things next to suicidal.
you make me feel at home
with all the hollowness that I’ve known.
You make me feel like it’s my fate
to forever be the fundamentally inadequate.

The Inked Dreams 23-6-17

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