time to go home

restless

 

you wanna save me?
birdie, the pain wouldn’t let you.
She’s too infatuated with me
to let even death have me;
for she’s been with me for too long,
grew fond, would never let go.
promises to not leave my side till there’s nothing left to be,
possessive flirt, my truest lover, has found home in me.

so go home, got no days left to go to sleep,
now we can only hope to fall asleep.

wishing love was curable,
on every fucking meteor
& burning through the dandelions,
as if they knew how to care.
bankrupting, cashing pennies,
choking all those fountains;
naive enough to believe
in all those petty pipe dreams.

but it’s time to go home, though we can’t go to sleep,
hoping to stay whole till we fall asleep.

to never be enough, an eternal scar,
waiting for the day you are;
punished for the sins not yours,
forced to let them go,
forced to watch them fall in love;
kinda kills you but lets you live,
so you can watch more of only this
the best part is, they only think they care but I believe
they don’t even know they really don’t; even as they leave.

oh but its time to go home now, try to go to sleep,
& listen to the chimes of cracks from within, before we fall asleep.

ain’t easy, running from what’s inside,
not the darkness we vessel or it’s fright.
Just the awareness of one’s own existence;
quite hard to leave that behind.
Too full of pride to take our own lives,
too tired to go on, done arguing with life.
Still quite awake, pain piercing numbness,
still can’t fall asleep, being sawed alive.

still, it’s time to go home, ain’t no more the days to go to sleep,
holding splinters together, long enough to fall asleep.

but when you learn to weep in ink,
all the pity around you becomes applause!
for the world only looks at the words,
for it doesn’t know a need to look through.
Art, they’d call it; a gift, it’d seem.
because not many can see it for what it is,
except for those who’ve already been.
pain unseen; a curse unsung.

& now it’s time to go home again, to try & sing ourselves to sleep,
so we’d drown out the voices of whom we still love, till we fall asleep.

maybe we’re too scared to slumber,
for we know what our dreams hold;
promises of never being together,
nightmares kissing eyelids, soft & bold.
these be the ones we brew ourselves,
of truth and guilt and a dash of loathe
but someday, we’ll sleep forever and forget all else
but I know I’ll remember a face and a voice, both.

maybe it’s time to go home now and try and go to sleep,
a sleep everlasting; if only we could fall asleep.

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