a cancer of thoughts

overthinking
overthinking

depression is like your thoughts giving you a cancer.
it begins with one outlandish thought and before you know it, its surrounded by other thoughts it’d lead to or it may become and they keep multiplying thusly, and like a simple cell doing what it was designed to do but overdoing it or a simple complication like a tumor becoming something it already is but on a more horrific scale, thoughts too can be equally guilty of being what they were meant to be but turning on themselves, folding into, creating labyrinths of ifs and whys and buts that you’d want to get lost in. That’s the saddest part here, we begin with a sad feeling and it sprouts into a train of thoughts going in circles, reaching nowhere, making you trip on yourself, and feel sad about what you’re doing to yourself and this sad feeling lays way to another series of trains and now you have a whole network of disobedient ideas running all over you, running out of control, running you down every time you try to slip out. Like that one innocent and overanxious cell causing a tumor becoming a cancer, this one little lost, chaotic thought can pave paths to overthinking eventually drowning you in a mire of your own creation, sucking you down the quicksand made from the grains of your very own mind, leaving you gasping for breath, for a diversion, for an escape, creating an all new tornado of thoughts ripping your psyche, dancing on your mind now going mute, adding cracks to it, cracks oozing with more solutions ergo some more thoughts and soon you’re caught in this entire world of chaotic pulsation driving you on impulses of randomization but of a single consequence lying to you of consciousness to ease your conscience when in fact, you are not in control at all and this world of immaterial you’ve designed for yourself, however unwillingly, that’s grown from what you’ve stricken off as just a bad feeling, is depression.

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